


The Execution

by BookshopLaura



Category: Merlin (TV)
Genre: Angst, M/M, Magic Revealed, Possible Character Death
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-03-08
Updated: 2015-12-30
Packaged: 2018-03-17 00:20:08
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 9
Words: 7,432
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3508085
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BookshopLaura/pseuds/BookshopLaura
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A sorcerer is going to be executed and all of Camelot watches on.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

Arthur is standing, ceremonially dressed in full armour, cloak and crown before a packed crowd. They are excited, so excited that it's morbid. Because this is an execution. Arthur has never been a fan of executions, they are a necessary evil to maintain law and order and depose of criminals who are beyond redemption. But the crowd don't seem to be taking it that way. There is an exited chatter, an atmosphere of expectation, as if they're gathering for a show. People have bought their children and he's even seen a baker doing the rounds with a tray. He had had his tray ripped from him and flung to the ground before being dragged by his collar from the crowd. Gwaine was unhappy with the proceedings as it was. No, unhappy doesn't cover it. Seething, livid. He catches Arthur's eye as he drags the baker out and it's probably only the threat of his own head that stops Gwaine from speaking his mind. He turns away in disgust, dragging the baker behind him.

Arthur draws his eyes away and they settle on the box and post in the middle of the courtyard. Around it's base a few bales of straw and piles of wood and twigs have already been set up. But more lies around ready to be built up around the sorcerer who is to be burned. On the box, next to the post a man ties a rope, ready to tie the prisoner up. He's wearing a mask like a sack, with three holes for his eyes and mouth, and is wearing only black. Arthur thinks he looks like death but without the scythe. The straw piled around him adds to the morbid imagery. He's the same build as Percival, could be Percival in a mask, except that Percival stands nearby, at the edge of the crowd, brow furrowed. Next to him stands Gwen and next to her Gaius. Gwen's eyes are red and her eyes are fixed on the door where the prisoner will emerge. Gaius next to her has his eyes fixed accusingly on Arthur, not breaking the stare, grimly determined. Arthur tries to return his gaze but his eyes snap away when the man who looks like death steps down from the box and nods towards the door. 

The chattering in the crowd increases as the prisoner is lead out. For a moment all that Arthur thinks is 'he looks too skinny'. He drags his eyes away because he doesn't want to look but his eyes instead light on Gwen who is crying hysterically and holding out her arms to Merlin. 

Merlin, who is walking, arms tied behind his back towards the pyre. Arthur's heart is thumping, but he doesn't care. Merlin is a liar and a traitor and a sorcerer and deserves to die and Arthur wants him dead. The figure before him walks slowly. The guards who lead him on each side are gentle. They've known him a long time. The noise from the crowd is growing and people are straining to see over their heads for a glimpse at the manservant turned traitor. Merlin finally reaches the edge of the crowd and is handed over to the man who looks like death, who grabs him forcefully by the top of his arm and practically drags him towards the box. Arthur doesn't realise his hand is on his sword, gripping white-knuckled until he feels it begin to unsheath. He forces himself to let go. He doesn't care, he won't care. 

Merlin is manhandled onto the box, his back to the post, offering no resistance. At first he just looks down, away from Arthur. Arthur can't read his look. Distant, desolate. Guilty? Repentant? He should be doing more than this. Struggling? Trying to escape? Something isn't right. As the man who looks like death starts piling the straw and wood around Merlin's feet, Arthur is fighting the urge to... to... to yell for them to stop, to run and wrench Merlin from the post himself. But he can't. He's the king and Merlin's a traitor and a sorcerer. And a sorcerer. He'll free himself, surely he'll free himself. But what if he doesn't? Finally Merlin looks up and meet's Arthur's eyes. And it's scary because it's like Merlin can speak to him, over the din. Like he's speaking right into Arthur's mind, and Arthur would swear it was magic. Except that Merlin's not saying anything, his eyes aren't glowing like they did when Merlin betrayed himself. They're just looking at him. Speaking to him. I'm sorry. It's okay. I forgive you. Is there more? Arthur feels like there might be more, but he can't grasp it. What else would Merlin be trying to tell him?

But now Merlin's eyes have dropped. The man like death has finished packing the bonfire, the pyre around him and has walked across to where a servant stands holding a flaming torch. And Merlin's eyes have lit upon it. And when Arthur sees it, so do Arthur's. Following it with morbid, frozen curiosity until the man touches the flame to some straw at the edge of the pyre. And then it catches.

Arthur can hardly breath, a lump has formed in his throat and his skin prickles. His eyes dart back to Merlin whose eyes are staring in terror at the fire that is now creeping up the straw and wood that surrounds him. For a moment Merlin watches it, then turns to look at Arthur, eyes pleading but mouth silent. He doesn't even struggle against the ropes that bind him. 

"Arthur! Arthur stop it please Arthur don't! Don't do it!" Gwen's screams just about make it through the din of the crowd and Arthur looks to where she is straining against Percival, who is holding her back and looks on the brink of tears himself. 

"Please Arthur!" 

Arthur turns back to look at Merlin, who is still looking at him. For a moment, less than a moment, he looks at him. Then Merlin closes his eyes, screwing them shut, and turns his face away from the flames. His face flickers in the mirage of the heat as flames beginning to build around him. 

He's really going to do it. He's really going to let Arthur do this. Arthur's blood is pounding in his ears. Merlin is going to stand there and let himself be burned to death because Arthur has said so. And Arthur wants this! He does want this! He does. He really does! He must! Because Merlin has hurt him and lied to him and... and... 

"Stop it" he mutters barely above a whisper.

"Sire?" asks the guard standing next to him.

"I said stop it." He says a little louder. 

"But Sire, they've already lit the pyre. It's too late.."


	2. Chapter 2

"Stop it! I said stop it! I don't want..." But the crowd is so loud that only those near him can hear him. And now Arthur is panicking because no one is doing anything and Merlin is still tied to a post which is quickly being surrounded by flames. 

"Arthur!!!" Gwen's scream is so desperate Arthur snaps out of his panic. He jumps down from his stage. The crowd part, but too slowly as he charges towards the pyre. But Percival has seen him move and understood and he's let go of the screaming Gwen. He's leaping through the small part of unburning pyre and trying to physically pull Merlin from the flames. Arthur draws his sword, and charges round to jump onto the pyre himself. It's already scorching, even if the actual flames haven't quite caught onto Merlin on the material against him. Arthur plunges his sword between the rope and the stake to which Merlin is tied.

"Does this, Arghh!! this mean you're letting me off?" jokes Merlin, but his eyes are wide, frantic. Arthur glances down to see that the top of Merlin's trouser has caught. And Arthur panics as he keeps sawing his sword. Percival sees it and tries to reach to smolder it, but time is running out. Percival is tearing at the material to pull it away from Merlin, but the fire is growing.

"Aaarrrggggghh!!" screams Arthur in frustration.

"Merlin! It won't break, the rope won't break!" Looking around at him, wide-eyed, Merlin mutters something and his eyes glow. Then the rope is falling away from his hands. Percival gives up on the pyre and grabs Merlin under the arms and physically lifts him off of the pyre like a child. Then all three throw themselves from the fire. Gwen is by Merlin's side in seconds, using her skirt to smoulder the flames on Merlin's legs and on his arms. Gaius is already by Percival's side, examining a clearly burnt arm. 

Arthur's attention is quickly drawn by pain and he realises his own trouser legs are on fire, someone from the crowd rushing to smother it. His arm and his legs are burnt, but they will heal. He glances up at Merlin. His face and clothes are blackened and Arthur can see Gaius looking at his legs with concern. They are far worse that Arthur had realised, red and blistering, some parts even black. He lets out a cough that doesn't sound good. But he's alive. He'll live. 

Arthur sits in the dirt, by the now fully ablaze pyre, and for a moment just stares at the flames. Did he do the right thing? Should he have left Merlin in the... 

"AAAAARRRGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!" The scream is blood curdling and for a horrific second Arthur thinks maybe he did. Maybe Merlin still is in the fire and he's dreaming about saving him. Maybe he's just rooted to the spot. But then he turns to see Merlin burying his head on Gwen's shoulder as Gaius applies something to his legs. He's on his feet in seconds, even though pain shoots through his own right foot and arm. But when he's within a foot of him, Gaius turns and his face is furious.

"Stay away!" 

"He's... he's going to be okay? Isn't he...? Is he going to lose his legs?" asks Arthur apprehensively, because they really do look bad. And he can't fool himself any more that he doesn't care. For better or worse he cares.

"He'll be lucky if he just loses his legs." says Gaius bitterly. "They're badly burned. If he develops an infection, I'll have to take them off. Otherwise the infection could get into his blood. For pity sake, clear the courtyard!" yells Gaius, turning on Arthur. Arthur is just staring at Merlin, whose head is still buried into Gwen's shoulder, clinging to her hand white knuckled. 

"Er.. yes.. sorry.. er... Clear the courtyard! Get everyone out! The show is over!!"

\---

That was hours ago. Merlin has been carried carefully up to Gaius' quarters, but Arthur is sat on the steps in the courtyard. Staring at the fire, which is now just embers. Arthur can't go to see Merlin, the only thing he wants to do. Because he has put him in this situation. And everyone is on Merlin's side. Gaius has made no attempt to hide his contempt, Percival has been quiet, which is just as bad. Gwaine hasn't been seen in hours, Gwen wouldn't look at him or acknowledge him, just focussed on helping Gaius. And of course, the worst is that Arthur himself is on Merlin's side. Arthur himself thinks that he was a monster for letting it get this far. But he doesn't know what to do now, because he can't undo it. So he just hugs his knees tighter, even though it hurts his burn, and carries on staring at the pyre.


	3. Chapter 3

Arthur rubs the lotion that Gaius has sent to him into the ugly looking burns on his legs and arm. They're oozing a bit, well actually quite a lot and he's pretty sure the colour and smell of the right leg isn't right. He thinks for a moment about actually going to see Gaius (because although he is king and could demand his presence, now is not the time), but then he thinks against it. He won't be welcome and besides, he's probably not that bad. Gaius needs to be concentrating on healing Merlin, who is probably on the brink of life and death. That's why he didn't bring the cream himself, why he sent George with it and some curt instructions. Gaius hates him. That hurts. Arthur has a lot of respect for Gaius, has known him all his life. To have Gaius think badly off him, especially for something that Arthur already thinks badly of himself for, brings tears to his eyes. 

He stands up, wincing at the burn on his right leg and that looks suspicious and happens to sit over his knee . Taking the chain mail and cloth underneath it had been painful. It had also taken some skin off and Arthur had screamed as he'd done it. He was almost glad that Merlin hadn't been there to see it. But only almost. Maybe if Merlin had been there he'd see what Arthur had done to save him, see how much Arthur was suffering for what he had done. But he couldn't, because Merlin was laid up in Gaius' chambers, probably on the brink of life. And he can't go to him, because he is not welcome. Because he is the one who had put Merlin there. He sits down heavily on the bed and cries out a little at the pain that shots up his legs. But it can't be anything to what Merlin is feeling, so he carefully turns himself round to lie down and tries not to think about his legs or Merlin. He fails.

\---

In Gaius' chambers, Gaius is checking over Percival's leg carefully. Removing some of the fabric had been problematic. You can't just rip it off, you can do more damage that way. But Gaius was satisfied that Percival's burned leg will heal well. If he doesn't do anything stupid to it. He glances up to check on Merlin. Merlin is laid on a bed roll on the chamber floor, stripped to his shirt and a pair of trousers cut to leave his legs uncovered. Merlin's arm is pretty bad, as is one of his legs and feet, Gaius is pretty proud of the way he's propped Merlin's leg up so that none of the burn is leaning on anything. But it's not as bad as it should be. Gaius wonders about that. 

"Is he okay?" asks Merlin quietly.

"I'll be fine" says Percival with his usual calm. Merlin keeps looking at Gaius.

"He's right. He needs to avoid training for at least 3 weeks, 3 WEEKS, no less, Percival." Gaius thinks he can hear Merlin's sigh of relief. Gaius finishes bandaging up Percival's leg, gives him the lotion he needs to apply daily and some bandages, and sends him on his way. He turns his attention back to Merlin, who is looking up at him with a worried look.

"What is it?" asks Gaius, concerned.

"Have you checked on Arthur?" asks Merlin cautiously.

"No." he says sharply.

"Do you think he might..." starts Merlin.

"Arthur is the reason you're here!" snaps Gaius. "Besides, George said he was a little hurt, so I've already sent some ointment over." Gaius looks up at Merlin, who is pouting a little. 

"... Fine, fine! it's late now. I'll check on him in the morning!" Merlin smiles a little and nods.

"For now, I need to get you ready for bed!"

\---

The next morning, after washing and redressing Merlin's wounds, Gaius heads up to Arthur's chambers. He has some more cream and bandages just in case Arthur needs it. But in his mind, he knows how this will go. He'll see a slightly injured and hopefully repentant Arthur, dress his wounds, give him a piece of his mind and then get back to treating Merlin. As he's approaching the door he hears George coming up behind him.

"Running late, George?" he asks

"Only a few minutes, you are quite early, Gaius" says George falling into step beside him. He has a tray of food on his arm.

"Well, I hope the King is up, because I can't hang around. I have a very seriously ill patient to deal with thanks to him!" says Gaius bitterly. 

"Gaius, you can't say that about the king!" says George scandalised.

"I haven't said anything but the truth, nothing but what everyone else witnessed yesterday!" says Gaius, as they get to the door.

"Is Merlin okay?" asks George quietly before they open the door.

"He will live. And I don't think there's any risk he'll lose any limbs. But he won't be up and about for a long while yet." says Gaius, turning and opening the door.

"Good Morning, Sire. Merlin asked me to pop in and..." Gaius' words die on his lips.

"Merlin... where's Merlin!! Father! I want my father!! Who, who are you?" Arthur's eyes are wide and red rimmed. His face is pale, almost a greeny tinge. And when Gaius lays a hand on his forehead Arthur is burning. When he checks his pulse, it's racing, and his body keeps being wrecked with shivers.

"Who are you? I don't know you, don't touch me!" shouts Arthur.


	4. Chapter 4

"Who are you? I don't know you, don't touch me!" shouts Arthur.

"Sire, it's Gaius! You're physician!" says Gaius, his heart racing, because this is bad, this is really bad. He pulls back the covers and his fears are confirmed. There is blood, from where Arthur has ripped his own skin removing his clothing. And it's pussing and smells foul. Gaius doesn't know where to start. He needs to clean the wound, he needs a knife, he has to cut away the rotting flesh, he needs hot water and Merlin. He needs Merlin, as his apprentice, and as a sorcerer. But Merlin is bad... No, if Arthur is this ill, Merlin will come, damn his own leg. 

"Gaius! Is the King going to die?" asks George, his face white in fear. 

"I... I don't know. He is bad, this is very bad. Send for Merlin, get Percival to carry him if he must. And I need hot water, boiling water, and my surgical knives... and poultices, tell Merlin to bring poultices!" 

\---

Merlin arrives, not carried, but supported by Percival, who is carrying another bag on his shoulder with supplies that Merlin has packed. 

"How is he?" asks Merlin, whose face is a picture of worry. Giaus' face cannot hide his foreboding.

"Bad, Merlin. Did you bring the knives?" asks Gaius. 

"Merlin? Merlin!! I'm sorry, Merlin! I'm so sorry!" says Arthur, twisting, reaching out with a burning hand to Merlin, face warped in sadness.

"It's okay, Arthur, I'm here." says Merlin, trying to smile a little, before glancing up at Gaius, his panic clear. 

"Merlin! I don't want you to die!" Arthur cries, tears pouring down his face.

"I know Arthur!" says Merlin, wiping Arthur's brow.

"I don't! I don't! I don't want you to die! ARGHhhhhhh!" Arthur screams as Gaius started trying to clean the wound.

"It's okay Arthur, I'm okay. I'm not going to die!" says Merlin, grabbing Arthur's hand as Gaius continued. It seemed to take ages, Arthur's knuckles were white against Merlin's hand. Arthur crying out incoherently now, eyes rolling back in his head. But Gaius keeps on working, face serious, until he's finished applying the poultice.

"Is that enough?" asks Merlin, glancing up at Gaius.

"Do we need to take the leg off?" 

"I don't know. I don't want to if I don't have to." says Gaius seriously. 

"But he's delirious, that's a bad sign." says Merlin, frowning. 

"I know, but he's not showing any swelling, or dark patches or blistering. We... we might still save the leg." says Gaius.

"But we might lose him!" says Merlin, nearly shouting.

"Merlin! Merlin! Please, please, don't hurt him!" shouts Arthur, twisting around.

"I need to look at his arm now" says Gaius, not meeting Merlin' eyes. 

"He could die, Gaius!" 

"I know, Merlin!.... I know. And if he does, it will be my fault." Merlin blinks a little, frowning at Gaius.

"What?" 

"I chose not to check on him last night, even though I knew there was a possibility he had been burned." says Gaius quietly.

"He is my king, and I chose to ignore him because I was upset. I have killed him." says Gaius, sadly, fiddling with a piece of fabric. 

"I don't want you to die, Merlin! I don't want you to die!" shouts out Arthur, dragging Merlin's attention away. 

"I don't want you to die, Arthur! Please, stay with me!" says Merlin, nearly crying himself. And just for a moment, Merlin thinks he can see Arthur register that, understand that. 

"What do we need to do?" asks Merlin, trying to pull himself up together, turning to Gaius.

"Wait, I'm afraid. Keep washing the wounds, I've got a tonic to help him sleep and fight the fever. Unless you know of a spell or something I don't..."


	5. Chapter 5

Arthur's not sure if what he sees is real, because he every time he wakes up it's to another nightmare and then he wakes up again. Merlin burning is a common them, but also torture, hanging, whipping, Arthur strangling him, beating him. And he can't help himself, no he can't stop himself. He tries, in dreams where Merlin's burning he runs and fights but crowds bar his way and he just ends up screaming. Sometimes he thinks he can see Merlin, close by, his touch both ice cold and burning hot and he looks worried, upset. Shouting at Arthur, shouting for help, pleading and Arthur can't do anything. He feels the burning touch on his head and opens his eyes. Merlin swims in and out of vision, eyes red.

"It's okay, Arthur. I'm going to heal you." says Merlin,

Arthur frowns, that's not right. Merlin's the ill one. He's in Gaius' chambers, covered in terrible burns, Arthur can see them in his mind. Merlin's screaming and Arthur can hear it. 

"Merlin! Is Merlin okay?" asks Arthur looking around. Hot and cold hands pin him down. A face he doesn't recognise tries to hush him and he shakes his head. He needs to wake up, just needs to wake up.

\---

Arthur wakes up in his own bed. He feels sticky, clammy, and his head is thumping. He looks around slowly, trying not to move too quickly. 

"Try not to move, Sire. You've had rough few days." says Gaius, walking across calmly. Arthur look at him, frowning. 

"Gaius? Where's Merlin? Is he okay?" He's trying to push himself up, but Gaius gently but firmly pushes him back down onto the bed.

"He'll be fine as soon as he's caught up with his sleep." says Gaius, nodding towards a curled up figure on a chair a little way away as he walks away to fiddle with some bottles in a bag. Arthur's eyes light on Merlin's arm which is bound but covered in splatters of blood. 

"Is he okay?" asks Arthur again, noting how pale Merlin looks, how tired.

"... the burn?" 

"The burns will heal, already are." says Gaius stepping toward tentatively, guiltily

"It's not Merlin's burns I'm worri..." Gaius is interrupted by Merlin, who wakes up with a start, almost falling out of the chair he's fallen asleep in.

"Merlin!" 

"Arthur! Arthur, you're awake!" says Merlin jumping up as quickly as his burns allow.

"Merlin, I'm so sorry!" says Arthur, tears beginning to well in his eyes.

"t's okay, Arthur. I know. You've already told me."

"Have I?" asks Arthur, frowning.

"Repeatedly" says Merlin smiling, but his smile is a little tight. 

"I... I don't remember..."

"Arthur, you've been really ill, for a few days..."

Arthur frowns at Merlin, who is sat on his bed, and then at Gaius who is stepping forwards again.

"I'm afraid it's my fault, Sire." He's not looking up or meeting Arthur's eyes, and Merlin's face has become serious.

"What? What is it?"

"Arthur, I'm so sorry." says Merlin, his hand reaching forward and clutching his. Arthur looks down at it, frowning. Merlin's not usually this forward with his emotions. 

"Sire, I'm afraid that your burns were... well they were actually quite serious." Gaius pauses, still staring determinedly down at his feet. Arthur watches him, waiting.

"I'm afraid that I was angry with you for your treatment of Merlin.."

"You had every right to be angry, Gaius. For god sake I nearly killed him!" Arthur bursts out, tears falling down his face. Gaius' eyes close as if in pain. 

"And I nearly killed you, Sire... you... you developed sepsis, a very serious infection. I assume that it was as a result of removing your burnt clothing... you broke the skin. I knew that there was that risk. I knew that you could have been badly burned, but I was so angry I chose to ignore you. I decided that you weren't worthy of being treated, and in doing so I nearly... you nearly..." 

"Gaius, please. It's okay. I deserved your anger... I don't hold you responsible. Besides, you didn't kill me, I'm still here." says Arthur, trying hard to smile a little. Merlin's face is still serious and pale. 

"What? What is it?" Arthur asks, glancing between Merlin and Gaius. 

"Arthur, the sepsis was really bad, and I tried everything I could think of, but in the end..."

"I'm afraid, Sire, that I had to amputate your leg, to save you." says Gaius, cutting in. 

"I'm so sorry, Arthur." says Merlin, chewing his lip a little as his hand grips Arthur's. 

"Don't be ridiculous, I can feel it." But even as Arthur scoffs at Merlin, he can see the truth in Merlin's eyes. And as he glances down he can see the uneven imprint in the bed sheets, and the way Merlin is sitting where his leg should be.


	6. Chapter 6

Merlin is walking through the courtyard carrying Arthur's fresh clothes and linen. The black mark and ashes from the fire are still obvious on the floor and Merlin winces as he steps over them. His arm is still painful, though he hasn't mentioned it to Gaius, because Gaius has enough to deal with at the moment. 

"Merlin!" shouts Gwen, as she's crossing the courtyard with a similar bundle heading to be washed. She smiles at him and breaks into a mini run to join him. Her face darkens as her eyes too alight on the marks on the floor.

"I can't believe he was going to do that." she says coldly.

"Gwen, I know but he didn't. And I'm okay."

"That's not the point!" says Gwen, and Merlin's rarely seen such anger from her.

"I don't know how you can still serve him!" she adds, looking away from Merlin

"He's lost a leg!" 

"That doesn't make it right!" she retorts turning back on him. 

"He's sorry, Gwen, I know he is!"

"How?" she asks with disbelief. 

"Because he's apologised... and because he has dreams... nightmares." Merlin drops his head a little a the memory, but then looks at Gwen to see if she understands. Gwen frowns at Merlin, but nods for him to continue.

"He dreams that he doesn't reach me in time, Gwen he screams! I've never heard anything like it. He's screaming my name over and over, and 'No!' and sometimes I can't wake him, and it's worse than the screams when we cut his leg off. And when he does wake up he's shaking and crying. And I'll hug him to try and calm him and he clings to me... and he won't stop saying he's sorry, Gwen, over and over." Merlin's almost crying thinking about it. 

"How's he recovering, from his leg, I mean." says Gwen changing the subject. It's clear the story has affected her, but Gwen has a strong sense of justice and Merlin is her friend. 

"Physically his leg is healing well. The dressing should be removed completely in a week or two. But he's not... he's not dealing with it. He's quiet, unresponsive. When he does speak he says his leg is punishment for what he did." He glances at Gwen, but her lips are tightly sealed, even if she can't help raising her eyebrows.

"He's not adapting, he's not doing anything! I don't know what to do!" Merlin hangs his head as a tear drops from his cheek onto Arthur's laundry. Gwen rubs his arm affectionately. 

"Oh, Merlin! You love him so much! So much more than he deserves! But if you want my help, you know you always have it." Merlin looks up to stare at here a minute, frowning a little. She didn't mean it, did she? She didn't think. Merlin shakes himself. Gwen meant loyalty and friendship and Merlin as usual doing too much for Arthur. it's just that now that's not enough. He can't make Arthur whole again.

"I don't suppose you could make him a new leg." he says laughing morbidly. 

For a moment Gwen looks confused, and then looks at Merlin quizzically and then smiles a little. 

"I could... I'd need help. My father only taught me a little, and I don't have the technical ability needed. But my father's friend, Oswin, is also a blacksmith. We might... if... where was the leg amputated? Above or below the knee?"

Merlin's eyes have blown wide and he's smiling a little. 

"Do you mean it? Really?" he says.

"Below the knee, it's about 2 inches below the knee." 

"I'll come by later when I've finished with this, and got a measuring stick and we can make plans. Merlin, I don't know if it'll definitely work, but it's worth a try." says Gwen, rubbing his arm again and walking towards the laundry. Merlin smiles to himself. He can't wait to tell Arthur. 

Despite having an armful of laundry Merlin takes the stairs two by two and bursts into the room. It smells stale in here, Arthur has been convolesing too long Merlin thinks. But he throughs the fresh laundry onto a chair and rushes over to Arthur.

"Arthur! Arthur, I have good news! Gwen thinks we might be able to make you a new leg!" he says smiling. Arthur looks at him frowning, uncomprehending for a moment. Then he frowns.

"Merlin, I think I'm delirious again!" he says, and there's a hint of panic in his voice. 

"No! No, it's okay. She thinks she could make you a metal leg!" says Merlin, stroking the side of Arthur's cheek. Arthur shakes himself away from it.

"Oh" says Arthur, but there's no enthusiasm.

"Don't you want that?" asks Merlin, his heart thumping in panic.

"I don't deserve it." says Arthur, turning on his side away from Merlin.


	7. Chapter 7

"Arthur!" says Merlin, pushing his arm.

"I don't Merlin, don't you understand! I nearly killed you! Everyone else hates me, why don't you!" 

Merlin just looks at him frowning for a moment. He's knelt on Arthur's bed, the door still open where he'd rushed in. His hands are clasped in the material of Arthur's bed and he's frowning as if Arthur has asked an obvious question. 

"Because you're my friend, you're Arthur. You had every right to..."

"What?" asks Arthur, turning to look at Merlin.

"I...I knew you might..." Merlin's head is downcast, his face serious. 

"Merlin!" Arthur can't believe it.

"Arthur, I always knew that you might react... I broke the law and you're the king and..."

Arthur is pushing himself up, which feels weird without his leg and having lain down for so long. 

"Merlin, I... I was wrong, I'm sorry." says Arthur, and he sounds a little broken. 

"I know, you've said." says Merlin rolling his eyes a little. 

"Merlin, I will never have said it enough! There is no way I can pay for what I did!" and Arthur is crying now, one arm moving to grab Merlin's hand. 

"Arthur." says Merlin, but Arthur has lain down, and turned away from Merlin.

\--

Merlin is fidgeting with putting lunch away when Gwen turns up with a ruler and various other implements later. Arthur sees her chat with Merlin, rest her hand reassuringly on his arm. Then she's walking over to him looking very serious. 

"Merlin tells me you're not interested in a new leg." she says much like his tutors used to when he expressed disinterest in a lesson. 

"Gwen, you more than anyone know that I don't deserve it. You hate me, Gaius hates me, the knights hate me, Merlin SHOULD hate me..." says Arthur crying and rambling. 

"Arthur, I'm not going to pretend that what you did wasn't horrendous." Arthur's crying pauses. To hear Gwen be so harsh is difficult, she's usually so soft spoken.

"But Merlin is the one you hurt, and he wants to forgive you, so I must too. And as for paying for what you did, I think you would pay Merlin back for his kindness and forgiveness far better by letting me measure your leg and see if I can make you something, instead of just lying around feeling sorry for yourself." 

Arthur looks away from Gwen, to Merlin who's standing still with the leftovers from lunch in a tray, not even pretending he wasn't listening in. Arthur meets his eyes, which are pleading with him. He looks back at Gwen, who looks like a patient teacher waiting for the right answer.

"If it's what Merlin wants." he says. Merlin's face breaks into a smile, which he turns on Gwen momentarily before he leaves with the lunch things.

"Right, good. Then lets have a look at your leg and see what we can do." says Gwen, smiling a little.


	8. Chapter 8

The new leg looks good. It doesn't look real, Arthur can see the wood grain and whatever you do to wood, it looks too solid. Not as solid as metal. Gwen had thought about a wholly metal leg, but realised it might be uncomfortable. So this is a piece of carved wood with metal reinforcements and leather straps to bind it to Arthur's leg. It looks a bit clumbsy, but Gwen has gone to a lot of effort to make it look like a real leg, with ankle bones and toes and everything. The thigh's a little thinner and bulges higher than his remaining leg, but as replacement legs go, Gwen has done a fantastic job. Arthur knows it's mainly because of her friendship with Merlin. But Arthur had to be measured quite a few times before the fit was right and Gwen doesn't look at him as sharply any more. She's adjusting the strap for Arthur to wear it properly for the first time. He's tried it on a few times before, to try and stand up to measuring and for Gwen to tweak it. But today he is wearing it. He's going to slowly start learning to walk again. Gwen gives the buckle a sharp tug. Arthur can't help a hiss of pain.

"Oh, I'm sorry! It needs to tight, I'm afraid, it'll probably loosen over the day. Is the padding alright?"

"Yes, it's fine.If it hurts it's only my own fault." For a moment Gwen looks at him, unimpressed. He's been getting these looks recently, when he says things like this. 

"I'm being serious, Arthur. Gaius says that you need to be careful that the area is protected from too much wear, so make sure you keep an eye on it. Merlin won't be happy if you hurt yourself." Arthur sighs, defeated. Merlin is Gwen's trump card. Whatever Merlin wants, Merlin gets, and at the moment that's Arthur walking. But Merlin can't say no.

"Thank you, Gwen, for everything. I know it's all for Merlin, I know you probably hate me more than anyone, but..."

"I don't hate you." says Gwen, looking up and folding her arms in front of her.

"Arthur, I honestly don't. I didn't believe Merlin, at first, when he said you were sorry. But I do believe you now, because you can be stupid and angry, but you're honest. And Merlin is okay...Except that he is constantly worried about you."

Arthur doesn't look up to Gwen as she says this. It's comforting to know that Merlin cares so much, even though Arthur knows he doesn't deserve it. For a moment Gwen is still too, then she's pulling his trouser leg down over his false leg and standing up.

"Now, I need to go and get Percival & Merlin and we'll try and get you standing again."

\---

Standing up for the first time in so long is strange. Percival has to support him under the arms at first. It's almost like his false leg still feels there, but he can't seem to feel the floor when he puts it down. Except that he feels when the false leg, which should be the same leg hits the ground, but it's not the same. It jars, like having your hand on a door when someone knocks on it. But it does mean that after a bit of getting used to balance wise Arthur can stand up, only resting his hand lightly against the bedpost for balance. Except that it's agony, the pressure on the point of amputation is agony and Arthur is gritting his teeth not to scream. He's never put weight on the leg before, at least not for more than a minute. 

"Arthur, are you okay?" asks Merlin.

"m fine!" grits out Arthur.

"Sit him down, I'll get Gaius." says Gwen.

"No!" says Arthur, loudly. 

"But Arthur..." says Gwen, turning to look at him. 

"Gaius said that this might happen. There's nothing wrong, but the end of the leg is over-sensitive. That's why he's had Merlin pressing towels and ice against it. It got used to those, it'll get used to this!" says Arthur, trying to sound authoritative like he used to. He glances up, because he hasn't used that tone since he ordered Merlin off of the pyre. Gwen looks a little put out, but she's looking at Merlin whose face is beaming. 

"What?" demands Arthur. 

"Nothing, it's just good to have you back." says Merlin, eyes shining at Arthur in ways that make his heart race. Gwen's polite cough breaks through the moment. 

"It's very commendable that you want to battle through this, Arthur, but little and often is probably more practical. Why don't you sit down, keep it on, and Merlin can bring you your lunch."


	9. Chapter 9

It's been months now, since Arthur nearly killed Merlin. Almost a year he thinks looking back. He's standing on the battlements, over-looking the city. A lot has changed in that year. Leon has had to take on a more full command of the army. Arthur thinks he should probably be worried about a military coup, as Leon's control of the knights and guards is absolute, but Leon is loyal to the point of stupidity sometimes. He's known him his entire life. Besides, whilst Leon has military power, Merlin has magic, and powerful magic. He'd never have thought it before this year. Before that Merlin was just a slightly annoying, but incredibly endearing servant spoke his mind far too freely. But now, now he's seen far more. In the initial few months, with Arthur weakened, a number of people had emerged to challenge him and his position. They had expected resistance. They hadn't expected a sorcerer capable of bringing down lightening, causing earthquakes or simply throwing them across the room if he felt the need, as if they weighed less than a feather.

Arthur thinks if he hadn't already decided to believe Merlin's loyalty when he had, he would have then. Because Merlin has so much power it's frightening, and yet he'll withhold it in an instant just because Arthur tells him to. He's never threatened Arthur with it, he's never even used it in Arthur's presence without his permission, except the couple of times people have tried to kill Arthur and Merlin hasn't had the time for politeness. Arthur thinks he probably should have been wary, but he wasn't. He knew he trusted Merlin, even then. 

Arthur moves a step closer to the wall, lifting his amputated limb off of his wooden leg. It hurts as the nerves, which he'd leant on, reconnect, and sensation and blood rush back to the point of amputation all in one go. He lets out a yelp, which he quickly supresses, but not quickly enough.

"Arthur!" shouts Merlin, running over from the other side of the battlements.

"Are you okay?"

"I'm fine, fine. Just leant on the wrong leg for too long, that's all. Gaius has been moaning at me about that."

"Well, that's because you do insist on pushing yourself to do too much, too quickly!" says Merlin, pushing his shoulder a little playfully. 

"Well, Camelot needs a strong King..." says Arthur.

"Camelot HAS a strong king. And getting stronger by the day! Just don't over-do it again! I don't want to have to deal with a gangrenous leg again! That was NOT pleasant." says Merlin, cringing. Arthur looks at him, and for a moment rolls his eyes, but then his face becomes serious again.

"You don't have to stay, you know." says Arthur quietly. Beside him, Merlin rolls his eyes, not looking at his face.

"Arthur, we've been over and over this! I'm not here because I think I should be, I'm here because I want to be!" he says turning to face Arthur. 

"Even after..." starts Arthur. Merlin frowns as he watches Arthur's face, but pauses. Arthur pales noticeably as he refers to that time, even now. And yes, Merlin had been scared, but he's been through worse than this. The worst part had always been that it was Arthur that wanted him dead, could never forgive him. But this Arthur, tall, proud, even in his pain, has forgiven him over and over, and now can't forgive himself. 

"Arthur..." says Merlin, but he really doesn't know what else to say. Glancing around to make sure no one else is watching, he wraps an arm around Arthur's arm, and holds him for a moment, before building up the courage to lean his cheek on Arthur's shoulder. He feels Arthur take a shaky breath. 

"You know, Merlin, I always thought that I was the strong one." says Arthur.

"You are strong." says Merlin. "Look how far you've come. Four months ago you could hardly stand for more than five minutes. Yesterday, you went hunting. Can't you see..." says Merlin pulling away, but holding onto Arthur's arm. 

"I wasn't talking about my leg..." says Arthur quietly.

"I just wish that sometimes I was braver. Brave enough to tell you how much your belief in me has meant to me. How much..." Arthur trails off and his head dips, Merlin watching it, transfixed.

"How much what?" asks Merlin, his grip on Arthur's arm suddenly tight, his voice not quite as confident. 

"Merlin, I... I have no right to..." says Arthur, but he can't look Merlin in the eye and he looks so sad, maybe even frightened. 

"Say it, please!" says Merlin, bringing his other hand up to gently brush against Arthur's cheek. Arthur turns to face him, eyes wide, still afraid.

"Merlin, I love you." Merlin thinks he should probably say something, or do something, or something. But the only thing he can think of doing is burying his head against Arthur's shoulder again to hide how much his cheeks are burning, and how much he's grinning like an idiot. He knows it's stupid, but then so is falling in love with the man who tried to burn you.

"Merlin, say something!" says Arthur after a few blissful silent minutes, and Merlin could laugh because, although it sounds worried, it also sounds impatient. It sounds like Arthur.

"I love you too, clotpole." says Merlin quietly. Arthur doesn't say anything back after that, but after a while, when Merlin pulls back, he can see that Arthur is smiling. Almost smirking even, just like he used to. And then he's wrapping Merlin in a crushing hug, and whispering in a voice of feigned threat.

"Don't scare me like that again!"

"Ok, fine. Next time I'll think of something different to scare you with." says Merlin, before glancing coyly at Arthur. And this time Arthur actually lets out a laugh, loud and joyful. But then he's grinning and leaning in towards Merlin's ear and saying. 

"Like saying yes if I asked you to marry me?" 

"Merlin?"


End file.
